Driving slow on Sunday morning

So...

2006-11-12T13:05:00.000-05:00

I've come to the conclusion that I really suck at life. That is all.

Post without a title

2006-10-24T15:33:00.000-04:00

As the days go by, I'm finding it harder and harder to give a rat's ass about things. Just as I worked my hardest at BG and was told I wasn't good enough, I'm now going through the same crap at BW. How is it that I got a "D" on an essay exam that I studied and reviewed my notes for for 2 weeks?! I don't understand how that works at all. See, I wouldn't be so upset about this if I had other opportunities to raise my grade in this history class. Lucky for me though, my prof. offers no other work and our grade is based solely on four exams. That's just fan-fucking-tastic. I think everyone else in the world who is not a good test taker would agree that this is bullshit. What bugs me more about this is that I love the material (granted, he is a little dry) and I know it fairly well. As long as the facts are there, I don't think it's particularly fair to grade an essay exam that says to chronologically discuss the events of this topic in an opinionated fashion. I don't think I can do this for much longer. It's like there's something out there that doesn't want me to succeed or be a teacher. Whatever it is, I hate it. A lot.

Down in the dumps sorta...

2006-09-08T00:22:00.000-04:00

I need to vent and since I basically have no one to vent to here, this is my only option for now. More and more, I'm starting to realize I'm not as happy here as I thought I would be. Honestly, I don't know if I'm gonna make it two more years without losing it. I know everyone misses their friends after they graduate but I'm pretty f'in miserable right now. I miss my friends horribly. All I do is go to class and work now. I have no one to hang out with and I'm pretty sure my sister is getting sick of doing stuff with me all the time. I guess it also doesn't help that I'm stuck in classes with a bunch of 18 year olds and have no interest in being friends with them. Been there, done the whole freshmen year thing. I hate the fact that I'm pretty much the only person that had to move back to NE Ohio too. I guess I wouldn't be as depressed if I had more friends from high school here but well, I guess that would be asking too much. I know this entry is a lot of random complaining but it all makes sense in my head. For the first time ever, I'm not really looking forward to my birthday much. Sure, I made plans with people tomorrow night but who knows if they'll show up. People have a tendency to blow me off when it matters the most to me. But honestly, who cares. I guess I shouldn't anymore, no one else does. This isn't to say all I do is mope around and feel sorry for myself. I keep myself going by telling myself everyday that I'll be done at BW by the end of next fall. That makes me happy. Oh well. I just needed to get that off my shoulders. This isn't directed towards anyone so please don't take it that way should someone read this. Like I said before, I just needed to vent and I guess this was my only option. Here's to better days.

Life ain't always beautiful
Sometimes it's just plain hard
Life can knock you down
It can break your heart

Life ain't always beautiful
You think you're on your way
And it's just a dead end road
At the end of the day

But the struggles make me stronger
And the changes make me wise
And happiness has it's own way
Of takin' it's sweet time

No, life ain't always beautiful
But I know I'll be fine
Hey, life ain't always beautiful
But it's a beautiful ride
What a beautiful ride

Hurray!

2006-08-02T16:18:00.000-04:00

I finally got an answer from BW today and I'm going to be a yellow jacket in the fall! What's better is that practically everything transferred (I think) so I won't have to take much. Hopefully I'll be able to go right into methods in the fall but I'll find out when I meet with my new advisor. Oh and graduation is in three days. Eek!

Almost time...

2006-07-20T15:04:00.000-04:00

Graduation is getting close and I'm kinda back in my state of shock now. I honestly can't believe that in two weeks I will be receiving my "diploma". I still have yet to hear from BW but I know that they received it and the admissions committee is in the process of looking it over with help from the education department. After calling two days ago and hearing the admission counselor tell me she couldn't find it and me freaking out for two days, she called me back finally yesterday to tell me that it got mixed in the file of Nicole Koenig from Cincinatti(sp?). I just have to make it to next week to hear back from them about it. Luckily, unlike poor Ashamaley, my parents haven't been getting on my case about it and decisions that need to be made. Well, my mom hasn't. My dad on the other hand is likes to pester me every f-ing day about it and why haven't they made a decision yet, blah blah blah. Hell if I know what their deal is and why they need forever and a day to make a decision. That's all. Time for work, the one place where people don't harass me about stuff I don't have answers for.

P.S. I miss BG and all you guys :(

Welp...

2006-07-14T00:58:00.000-04:00

Time for an update. I'm back to work, Country Concert was freakin' AMAZING, graduation is in THREE WEEKS, and I get to go visit Ashley in two weeks. I'm also growing very impatient waiting for a response from BW and it's only been a week. I want to know if I'm going there now! Anywho, it's time for bed now. The life of a working person sucks but I admit it's nice to have good hours and fabulous pay again. I make more in one day now at the rec. than I made in two weeks at the YMCA. Plus, I have a really hot tan. Nighters.

Growing up sucks

2006-06-24T14:14:00.000-04:00

I'm officially done with undergrad but still have to wait till August 5th for graduation. No biggie, I have work and Country Concert to keep me busy till then. I came home for the weekend to talk with my boss and to bring home lotsa stuff which mean my room and the basement are a disaster area. I seriously have no clue where all this stuff came from. It would be nice though if I had a real room, with a real closet and real space to put my excess stuff. Instead, I get a "space" in the basement with no walls or anything. I guess I shouldn't complain because at least I have somewhere to sleep. I wouldn't hate this situation so much if I had place to store everything. The closet that is in the basement is piled high with my parent's and grandma's crap leaving me almost no closet space. Then when I have nowhere to put my stuff, my mom tells me I need to clean stuff out and either throw it away or give it to Goodwill. This basically means my stuff is of little importance and there's no reason I should have most of it. Thanks mom. And asking if my dad can put walls up is just as dumb. When I ask, I'm told that there's not enough money to do so right now. Funny, since they have enough money to redo all of the bedrooms upstairs. Well as you all can tell, I'm just ecstatic about moving in/living with my parents again. This next year is gonna be fan-freakin'-tastic. >:0

Plus, when I came home yesterday I was greeted by a nice letter from Direct Loans saying I owe them $23,000 starting February. Awesome. I haven't even graduated yet and they're already hunting me down. Ashley, I feel your pain.

Almost outta here!

2006-06-20T10:07:00.000-04:00

Yippee! I have three more days left of class until I'm done with undergrad forever! And Country Concert is in two weeks! I can't wait!

A whole buncha countdowns!

2006-06-13T02:36:00.000-04:00

53 days till Graduation!
23 days till Country Concert with Stacy and Leah!
3 days till Lake Cumberland with Ashamaley and her friends from back home!
7 more days of class!

That's all for now :-)

Yup...

2006-05-19T18:04:00.000-04:00

Graduation in 78 days and at 9:30 in the morning. Just leaves more time for celebrating :-P

I kick so much ass

2006-05-13T00:02:00.000-04:00

For the first time ever, I made dean's list. I must say finishing college on dean's list is pretty awesome and although I wish I could've done it more than once, making it my last semester is sweet. I rule and I have six weeks left of summer classes before I am done with undergrad. August can't come soon enough :-P

Insert creative title here

2006-05-06T01:04:00.000-04:00

I need to get out of Ohio. Now.

Friends are God's way of apologizing to us for our families

2006-05-04T12:17:00.000-04:00

The realization that my friends and I will all be going our own ways in a few short months is starting to hit and I have to say it's sorta depressing. This has been my home for the past five years and everyone here has turned into family. At least I have three more months to be all emotional about this.

Sooooo bored...

2006-05-03T13:31:00.000-04:00

All done with finals, projects, papers, and classes. I now have nothing to do till Monday when summer classes start. I have never been so bored in my life. I know I should enjoy this but I'm almost to the point where I'm going stir crazy. This totally stinks. I need something to do pronto.

It's soooo close

2006-05-01T11:12:00.000-04:00

So today is my last official day of finals. Granted, I'm taking three classes this summer but there's no official finals week. Therefore, this is my last real finals week as an undergrad. I am 3 months and 4 days away from graduating and moving on to bigger and better things, these things being going to BW for my teaching license. Woo. In 7 short weeks, I will officially be done with undergrad classes forever. The truth is, this all still hasn't sunk in yet and I'm still thinking to myself "Holy crap, I'm graduating in three months." These past five years have just flown by and I'm starting to think I might actually miss all of this. Wait, no I take that back. I'll miss my friends and all the fun times. I won't miss BG basically telling me I suck and that I'm not good enough to be a teacher. I guess passing the Praxis II on the first try before even taking methods means jack squat to them. Anywho, this summer has to be good cause it's gonna be the last one with all of us together. I say we start the fun now. All in favor? Good, that's what I thought :-P

Son of a billy goat...

2006-04-24T23:25:00.000-04:00

If I just start ignoring everything, will it all go away? Or if I just head to California next year, maybe nothing will follow me. All I can say is that next year can't come and go soon enough. I need my teaching license now so I don't have to be a prisoner to Ohio anymore.

Hooray!!

2006-04-16T23:23:00.000-04:00

So a big congratulations to my awesome roomie Ashley and her now fiance Nate! They got engaged Thursday, April 13 and major props to Nate for picking out one kick-ass ring. I think I've been waiting for this almost as long as Ashley has. I've been the middle person for the past few years and I must say I was quite proud that Diana and I knew for the past month-ish and kept Ash completely in the dark.

On a completely unrelated note, I've spent the past week in and out of doctors' offices and was told that I have mono. I'd love to know how this happened because I have had no symptoms whatsoever until last Sunday when it felt like my stomach shot out of my body. Or that past few times I've had a few drinks, I felt like I was dying-that may have been my poor liver trying to keep me from dying. Needless to say, I feel like crap but am not feeling tired like I'm supposed to. If I at least felt tired, I would have an easier time sleeping at night. Now I have no reason to be tired because I can't do a freakin' thing. My schedule for the next six weeks includes class. I'm working up the energy to get some cornhole games going. Not being able to enjoy this weather is torture!

I don't know anymore

2006-03-29T01:06:00.000-05:00

I tried being sympathetic and all that crap but I now realize I hate what you did to me. I hate that no matter how good I was to you, you had to return it by pushing me away and asking "Why don't you just break up with me already?" If that was the case, why did you pull me along for that long? Why did you do this to me knowing the whole time how things would be in the end? How could you even try to blame me for your problems? Yeah, I know I'm not perfect but at least I can be with someone without making them feel like a jackass for caring. And that's another thing. You've got some freakin' nerve saying I never cared about you. Maybe if you weren't so busy pushing me away, you would have realized that I truly did. There's only so much I can take before I have to put myself first. Yeah, maybe it is selfish but that seems to be a popular thing nowadays. I guess it was time for me to jump on the bandwagon. It's about time I thought about myself instead of everyone else. You made me realize that no one's going to care about me except myself. At least I learned something from this.

Let's try this again...

2006-03-27T15:11:00.000-05:00

Well, it's been almost five months. I guess it's about time for a post. I never realized until now that I totally stink at keeping one of these things. Oh well. Let's see, what's new here? Oh yes, the biggest of big news: I graduate in August. Unlike most people who get 6 months or so to let this sink in, I get, eh, about 4. This is still quite a shock to me and I don't know whether I'm happy or sad. I still have to get my teaching license next year but it's gonna be at a different university. I think that's about as much excitement as I can handle right now. I don't want to overload your brains with the joys of my life all at once. Although I don't think it quite matters how much I ramble here; I doubt anyone looks at this anywho. Eh, at least I can pretend that people are interested in my life.

Being a grown up sucks

2005-11-12T13:36:00.000-05:00

So for anyone that cares and knows me really well, I unfortunately had to make a really tough decision the other day. I won't be playing rugby this spring and just the thought alone is killing me. If you want the whole story, get a hold of me. That is all for now. :(

I rock that!

2005-11-04T18:25:00.000-05:00

Obviously I don't because it's been almost three months since I've written a damn thing on here. So to sum a lot of things up: rugby season has come and passed, we're D2 again; there are only about 5 weeks left in the semester; I scheduled my last semester of actual classes on Tuesday and I get to take the Praxis II in the spring; I start methods next fall and student teaching the spring after; my roomie Ashley gives her senior recital tomorrow (Eek!); lastly (for now at least), I still need to put up all my pictures so everyone can get a kick out of them. My personal favorites are the ones from the night the Ashlies decided to get me wasted on a Thursday. Ahh...good times. So yeah, that's everything kinda since August. Maybe if I'm feeling adventurous again, I'll post before the new year rolsl around. Yeah right. Peace out cub scouts :-P

Summer has come and passed...

2005-08-14T23:48:00.000-04:00

Just got back from Gatlinburg a few hours ago. I swear, my family is crazy. And a word of advice- vacations in the Smokey Mountains are no fun with a sinus infection. At least I got my picture taken with a big ginormous rooster. That was definitely the highlight of the trip. I'll put more up later this week since I'll have absolutely nothing to do. This is week 2 of my summer break before classes start for fall semester. Woohoo. And this time, I'll be smart and figure out how to put pictures up in this thingamajig.

Richard...what's happening?

2005-07-28T23:20:00.000-04:00

Yeah, that doesn't have much to do with this post but I watched Tommy Boy the other night and I've been randomly quoting since. On another note, ever have one of those days that was really super awesome but then at the same time for some unknown reason, you're in a kinda sad mood? I think I'm having one of those days now. Go figure. Maybe it's from all the stress of school and work and going to the hospital and getting two kinds of sick and not being able to play rugby this weekend cause of it. :( Good thing I get two weeks off from school before school starts again. Yippee.

I swear...

2005-07-25T13:39:00.000-04:00

For sure, people are really starting to agitate me. That is all for now. I might write more when I can form complete sentences rather than just random bouts of swearing.

I got nothing right now...

2005-07-21T22:44:00.000-04:00

So I finally have a minute to update this thing. Let's see...Put in Bay was a blast. There's nothing like a weekend of cornhole, playing with fire and making s'mores with good friends. Last weekend was the rugby tournament which was totally sweet. I'm glad I got some playing in; I was starting to go through withdrawl. The highlight of my past two weeks was my trip to the ER this morning. Lucky me had a wonderful asthma attack at the pool today and got a ride in an ambulance after my medicine wouldn't help. It's always something with me, I swear. I guess since I haven't been to the ER for myself in about 2 year, I was due for a trip. Good times, only not so much. I was more worried about the poor little kids in swim lessons watching as the lifeguard got carted away on a stretcher than I was about myself. And I spent more time reassuring the little boy I babysat last week that I was ok than I spent reassuring myself. I'm such a softy, seriously. Oh well, time to go load up on my drugs and possibly find a topic for the paper I have due next week. But probably not cause I'm a procrastinating pro. Catch ya'll later :)

Eek!

2005-07-18T02:08:00.000-04:00

Ok, so lots has gone on in the past week or so. But it's late and I'm still sore and tired from the 9 hours of rugby on Saturday. I promise on an Oreo blizzard that I will update tomorrow evening when I'm done with class. Nighty night my friends :-P

Foil shizzle!

2005-06-30T01:40:00.000-04:00

Ok, so things are kinda "eh" right now although someone has been kind enough to cheer me up almost every night this week. And the jokes weren't that bad, I promise :-P But I think I'm pretty confident that things will work out here. I can say that I definitely need to brush up on my educational psychology theorists (Piaget and Vygotsky are the quasi-devil!) and go over the education domains of the beloved Pathwise. The Praxis II test is gonna be a pain but I have confidence in myself that I can kick it's butt. So everyone, keep your fingers crossed. It's gonna be a long semester... Oh yeah! Happy Birthday to my little sister! She turned the big 1-5 yesterday, the 29th. So you all have 6 more months before you need to watch out on the roads. *Insert evil laugh* :-P Ya'll can wish her happy b-day in the comments or I'll hunt you down and beat you with a spork!

Three times in three days...Scary!

2005-06-28T01:40:00.000-04:00

I sent this to Zimo the other day cause she's been dealing with some tough stuff lately but in lieu of recent events, I think I need to take my own advice and start living by this quote that I found:

"Sometimes the world has bigger ideas and dreams for you than you have for yourself if you just keep doing the work"

How true is that. So much to think about now. I hope my poor head can handle all this...

I hate you school

2005-06-27T14:09:00.000-04:00

Wow, twice in 24 hours on here. I think that is some sort of record for me. Well, I got my Econ grade and I got a B which made me very happy. Then I decided to try and figure out my cumulative GPA. Even with an A in my ed. class this second six-week session and if I somehow manage to get straight A's in the fall, I still won't have the 2.8 cumulative GPA I need to do my methods in the spring. So unless I can appeal to the board and get them to allow me to do methods with a 2.7, it looks like I'm gonna be here even longer than expected. Fan-freakin'-tastic. Maybe being a lifeguard for the rest of my life won't be as horrible as I think...

Summer!

2005-06-26T22:29:00.000-04:00

At the orders of Scott, I'm finally updating this thing. Man, I'm a blog loser. So let's see...First session of summer classes is over. I've got B's in geography and intro. to lit. Now I'm waiting to find out about econ. Everyone keep your fingers crossed extra good! New session starts tomorrow and now I get to enjoy six weeks of my ed. class. I don't even remember which one it is. Whoops. Oh well. Being in school all summer stinks but I have the bestest thing to look forward to in two weeks. I get to go camping with my super cool roommate Ashley in Put in Bay! Her brother and his friends are probably coming too which will make for a super hilarious time. Zimo is coming too which rocks cause I haven't seen her in for-ev-er! Yay! And here's hoping Scott can come too. He needs a vacation. :-P Ashley and I drove down to her house today to pick up some camping gear and leave it to us to have our infamous "duh" moment. Let's just say I came up with the brilliant idea to run a truck off the road that was towing a sweet boat. After it landed in the small lake along I-75, we would steal the trailer with the boat and drive away really fast. Since she only has a Escort station wagon, I would sit in the back and hold the trailer so it didn't pull off her bumper. After we make our escape, we would find a hill (which is dumb cause there's no such thing as a hill in NW Ohio) and gain momentum so I wouldn't get hurt. To sum this all up, handicap people are in the Special Olympics. Yeah, had to be there. In the end, we spent the 45 minutes that were left to get back to BG dying of laughter. Good times, good times. Ok, enough rambling. Gotta get back to folding my laundry. Leave me a comment punk! :-P Oh yeah! Fluffernutters are reaaallllly good. Everyone should eat them. Peanut butter and marshmallow fluff on bread. Go! Now! Enjoy!

I'm such a super slacker

2005-05-31T14:44:00.000-04:00

Well, I guess I really do suck at this whole blog thing. Finals didn't go as bad as I thought. Raised my cumulative GPA which is super good cause I start methods in the spring hopefully. Summer classes blow hardcore. Especially taking three at once. Talk about overload. Oh well. Work is actually fun in the summer. Since no one was at the Y yesterday and I still had to guard, my friend and I came up with this contest. We each have to decorate a shirt and wear it to all of our shifts this summer. Mine says "Jonelle is one hott mama" and hers has to say "Nicole is a superfly babe". This is what boredom does to you in a pool. That or there was too much chlorine in the water. Anywho, time to go study for my first Econ exam. Here's hoping I don't bomb it.

Almost done...

2005-04-24T20:05:00.000-04:00

Yeah, it's been awhile but what can I say. I'm a slacker. So Nationals was awesome. Even though we had two tough losses, we got to spend 4 days in Florida. And the weather was perfect. Blue skies every morning with a nice breeze that made the heat of the sun just right. Then we got back to stupid Ohio and it's now snowing. It's not supposed to be snowing at the end of April. Damn weather. Last week and right now is kinda hell. Last week of classes sucks cause I have about 50 billion projects and papers and about 1/49038279894 of the time to do it. It probably doesn't help that I'm slacking now to write in this but I've been good today. I've been working since 12:30 this afternoon. I earned this break. At least this weekend was totally awesome, especially last night. 'Nough said. :-D Anywho, time to get back to work. I'm almost done with one of my projects. Only two quizzes, a grammar project, a presentation and three finals left. Yay!

Yippee!

2005-04-11T19:52:00.000-04:00

Hell yeah! There are now less than 34 hours till we hit the road to Gainesville, FL for D1 Nationals! And most of my projects are done with for the semester. I only have a grammar lesson plan to do, a group presentation for African American Lit and a teaching philosophy due. RugBG!

Told ya so

2005-03-27T22:14:00.000-05:00

Glad to see I totally kept my promise about not updating this stupid thing. Let's see, so I have a feeling this week is totally gonna blow. Just a sneaking suspiscion. At least I have Nash Bash to look forward to this weekend. I can't wait to go down to Nashville and finally get out of this crappy place for awhile. And we played OSU Friday. We played such a kick ass game but unfortunately we lost. Oh well, there's always Nationals. I did get a kick ass bruise on top of the one that was still healing from cam in Kentucky a month ago. You know you got a kick ass bruise when it's still visible after 5 weeks. Anywho, time to go do something productive and school related. Smell ya later hosers.

Back to the daily grind...

2005-03-13T21:25:00.000-05:00

So yippee, break is over. It was pretty uneventful. I got to hang out with Andrea and Cheyenne a lot which was fun. Cheyenne now says aww, cool. It's hilarious. And I bought the bestest shirt ever. It's a University of Michigan rugby jersey and I got it for $5. Only cause I hate OSU's rugby team. Sweet. So yeah, now I'm unpacking and sorta working on a paper. Can't wait to go back to work and classes tomorrow. Sike. Ok, time to go for real. Smell ya later.

Bah

2005-03-10T00:09:00.000-05:00

Why can't people keep their promises? This break sucks. Is it time for summer yet?

What is the deal?

2005-03-04T23:33:00.000-05:00

So being home for spring should make me really happy, right? Well, I'm not. What is my deal? I've got way too much on my mind right now to enjoy things and that bugs the crap out of me. I really wish I didn't care so much about half the things that go on in my life. And I'm getting so aggravated with everything that sometimes I feel tempted to transfer to BW to finish my bachelor's degree. I know that probably wouldn't solve all my problems but it might help with a couple. And I know I've said this before, but people suck. A lot. Graduation really needs to get here quick. I don't know if I'm gonna be able to last a whole 'nother year and a freakin' half. This is so frustrating. I need to get out of here. Bah.

Tina you fat lard, come eat some food

2005-03-01T23:20:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I lied about updating this stupid thing but deal with it. Rugby camp was way totally awesome. Granted, it kicked the crap out of me but it was such a super cool experience. My knees are now one hugantic bruise but it's all good. And of course, the drive there and back was ever eventful. I don't think I've ever seen my life flash before my eyes so many times. And FYI, Kentucky doesn't feel the need to mark the medians in the middle of the road. We found that out after driving up on one thinking it was the turn lane. Whoops. We also saw the biggest Jesus statue ever on I75. And leave it to one of the rugby girls to make a comment along the lines of-"If that Jesus statue is proportional then just imagine how big his penis is!" So yeah, this was an A+ weekend for rugby. And our season starts in about 3 weeks now. First game is Sat. March 19th, home vs. Dayton. Plus, Bancroft plays that night too. If you don't know who Bancroft is, then you're living under a rock. Therefore, you need to come watch our game and then come watch the concert. I guarantee a good time will be had by all. 3 days till spring break. Yesss! Ok, time for bed. I have an exciting morning of watching old guys in Speedos in the morning.

Your mom goes to college.

Three cheers for rugby!

2005-02-28T01:13:00.000-05:00

So instead of working on the second of two papers due for poli sci tomorrow, I decided to post really quick. Rugby camp was awesome except for the part where it totally kicked my ass. I am now sore in places I didn't think it was possible and playing connect the bruises is actually quite entertaining. I will definitely share more tomorrow, but for now I need to finish this stinkin' paper and get some much needed sleep. Here's hoping I can make it out of bed(most likely by rolling out of it and into my car for work :-P)

Gosh...

2005-02-25T00:22:00.000-05:00

So even though I'm really happy about being able to practice again and surprisingly classes are going extremely well, things really blow right now. Mostly people suck and I really wish my shins would just get better already. My mom was talking about me possibly quitting but there's no way I could quit. Rugby just means too much to me. Unfortunately no one really understands this and I don't really have anyone to understand this ever since I changed my major. It sucks that it takes something like changing majors to realize who your true friends are. Especially those that call you a quitter just because you didn't like what you were doing. Thanks a lot. It's hard enough making a decision like that without your "friends" saying you're giving up. Too bad I can't just graduate now and move to California like I want and start fresh again. But I'll be stuck here for another year and a half. Awesome. Is it time for spring break yet? Luckily, I get to spend my whole weekend doing the one thing I love. Yay for rugby camps.

Ramblings

2005-02-23T01:19:00.000-05:00

So I never really thought I would give in to the online journal monster but I finally have. I most likely won't post a lot but when I do it'll be good stuff. I promise. I have a tendency to get hurt way more than any normal 21 year old should. So those will be good stories for you all to enjoy. Anywho, time for some sleep. Peace out cub scouts.