Sunday, November 12, 2006


I've come to the conclusion that I really suck at life. That is all.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Post without a title

As the days go by, I'm finding it harder and harder to give a rat's ass about things. Just as I worked my hardest at BG and was told I wasn't good enough, I'm now going through the same crap at BW. How is it that I got a "D" on an essay exam that I studied and reviewed my notes for for 2 weeks?! I don't understand how that works at all. See, I wouldn't be so upset about this if I had other opportunities to raise my grade in this history class. Lucky for me though, my prof. offers no other work and our grade is based solely on four exams. That's just fan-fucking-tastic. I think everyone else in the world who is not a good test taker would agree that this is bullshit. What bugs me more about this is that I love the material (granted, he is a little dry) and I know it fairly well. As long as the facts are there, I don't think it's particularly fair to grade an essay exam that says to chronologically discuss the events of this topic in an opinionated fashion. I don't think I can do this for much longer. It's like there's something out there that doesn't want me to succeed or be a teacher. Whatever it is, I hate it. A lot.

Friday, September 08, 2006

Down in the dumps sorta...

I need to vent and since I basically have no one to vent to here, this is my only option for now. More and more, I'm starting to realize I'm not as happy here as I thought I would be. Honestly, I don't know if I'm gonna make it two more years without losing it. I know everyone misses their friends after they graduate but I'm pretty f'in miserable right now. I miss my friends horribly. All I do is go to class and work now. I have no one to hang out with and I'm pretty sure my sister is getting sick of doing stuff with me all the time. I guess it also doesn't help that I'm stuck in classes with a bunch of 18 year olds and have no interest in being friends with them. Been there, done the whole freshmen year thing. I hate the fact that I'm pretty much the only person that had to move back to NE Ohio too. I guess I wouldn't be as depressed if I had more friends from high school here but well, I guess that would be asking too much. I know this entry is a lot of random complaining but it all makes sense in my head. For the first time ever, I'm not really looking forward to my birthday much. Sure, I made plans with people tomorrow night but who knows if they'll show up. People have a tendency to blow me off when it matters the most to me. But honestly, who cares. I guess I shouldn't anymore, no one else does. This isn't to say all I do is mope around and feel sorry for myself. I keep myself going by telling myself everyday that I'll be done at BW by the end of next fall. That makes me happy. Oh well. I just needed to get that off my shoulders. This isn't directed towards anyone so please don't take it that way should someone read this. Like I said before, I just needed to vent and I guess this was my only option. Here's to better days.

Life ain't always beautiful
Sometimes it's just plain hard
Life can knock you down
It can break your heart

Life ain't always beautiful
You think you're on your way
And it's just a dead end road
At the end of the day

But the struggles make me stronger
And the changes make me wise
And happiness has it's own way
Of takin' it's sweet time

No, life ain't always beautiful
But I know I'll be fine
Hey, life ain't always beautiful
But it's a beautiful ride
What a beautiful ride

Wednesday, August 02, 2006


I finally got an answer from BW today and I'm going to be a yellow jacket in the fall! What's better is that practically everything transferred (I think) so I won't have to take much. Hopefully I'll be able to go right into methods in the fall but I'll find out when I meet with my new advisor. Oh and graduation is in three days. Eek!

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Almost time...

Graduation is getting close and I'm kinda back in my state of shock now. I honestly can't believe that in two weeks I will be receiving my "diploma". I still have yet to hear from BW but I know that they received it and the admissions committee is in the process of looking it over with help from the education department. After calling two days ago and hearing the admission counselor tell me she couldn't find it and me freaking out for two days, she called me back finally yesterday to tell me that it got mixed in the file of Nicole Koenig from Cincinatti(sp?). I just have to make it to next week to hear back from them about it. Luckily, unlike poor Ashamaley, my parents haven't been getting on my case about it and decisions that need to be made. Well, my mom hasn't. My dad on the other hand is likes to pester me every f-ing day about it and why haven't they made a decision yet, blah blah blah. Hell if I know what their deal is and why they need forever and a day to make a decision. That's all. Time for work, the one place where people don't harass me about stuff I don't have answers for.

P.S. I miss BG and all you guys :(

Friday, July 14, 2006


Time for an update. I'm back to work, Country Concert was freakin' AMAZING, graduation is in THREE WEEKS, and I get to go visit Ashley in two weeks. I'm also growing very impatient waiting for a response from BW and it's only been a week. I want to know if I'm going there now! Anywho, it's time for bed now. The life of a working person sucks but I admit it's nice to have good hours and fabulous pay again. I make more in one day now at the rec. than I made in two weeks at the YMCA. Plus, I have a really hot tan. Nighters.